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Boost the self-esteem of your child

28/07/2010 | Posted by Kids Coach

Parents and carers of children this blog is for you. It talks about friendship and
self-esteem issues when children make the move from primary to secondary school. If you want to know more about this subject or would like help with any emotional or behavioural issue your child has come find me at www.thekidscoach.org.uk, follow me on twitter @thekidscoach or contact me in confidence at my website www.thekidscoach.org.uk

New Life = New Life – excuse the pun
 
Hi I’m Naomi and I work as a life coach for children. I used to work as a Marketing Consultant but after getting married and falling pregnant I decided I needed a career that would allow me to work around my new life. I wasn’t sure what that job would look like so I did lots of reading and research and even asked my friends what they thought I would be good at. The end result - Life Coaching. 

The Life Coaching course was perfect for me. It was interactive, collaborative, creative and it completely confirmed my decision that this was right for me. However, I realised during the course that my passion was not working with adults but to work with children. I wanted to work with children to help them find solutions to problems they had and give them the valuable life skills that they would need in adulthood. I realised that problem-solving and life skills were things that had to be learnt and if they did not grasp them at home or at school then there needed to be someone to help them.
Children it was then! So I began my new adventure and went it alone.

I have been working as a Life Coach for Children since 2004 – after my first son was born and work around my children – two boys – and my passion is still very much alive. There is nothing as satisfying for me than when a child walks out of a session and says, ‘thank you, I feel much happier’.

What do I really do?
Children come to see me (via their parents) to work though any issues they have at home or at school. They could be having problems with friendships, bullying, their parents separating, negative beliefs and thoughts, confidence or self-esteem etc. I help them by talking through their worries and together we find solutions that they can implement to make life happier for themselves. Parents don’t always know how they can help their children with their emotions or behaviour and some children don’t want to talk to their parents. I am like the auntie they never had!

I work face to face with children, do SKYPE sessions if they live too far away to come to my house and I also run workshops on a varied of different topics such as living with separated parents, communication and friendships and self-esteem and confidence. Although the issues are serious, all my work is fun, interactive and creative. It involves role-playing, worksheets, discussion etc.

Why friendships?
I see a lot of young girls who worry about friendships and the way they look. They have gone from primary to secondary school and have a bit of an identity and insecurity crisis. They had a tight group of friends at their old school but now they are at a bigger school and know only a handful of people. They have to make new friends.
Moving schools also unfortunately collides with the uneasy stage of changing into a woman and this is a time when young girls are having to adjust to a new body and awkward feelings. They want to feel attractive and be accepted by others. Being part of a group is very important to them but I feel they can only do that if they accept themselves for who they are.

They can find making friends quite hard to do. It’s the initial introducing themselves to new people and then continuing and maintaining conversation. You can help them by getting your child to think back to when they last made a new friend and discuss how they did it, talk about the type of questions they can ask new people, talk about non-verbal communication (arms uncrossed, nodding, saying ‘yes/no’), discuss the key skills needed for friendships e.g. listening, sharing opinions, compromising and help them feel great about themselves. If they feel good about themselves then they will project a more positive image and be able to deal with friendship problems if and when they arise.

Self-esteem too?
It is important that children have good self-esteem so they can handle the tough times as well as the good and that goes for friendships. Good friendships require hard work and investment of time and it can sometimes be a rough ride. It is important that children don’t let what others say to them/about them affect the way they think about themselves. Some children can be quite unkind about the way you dress or look. Remember it’s what’s inside that counts and that being different when making friends can be a good thing. It makes you interesting and mysterious. You don’t need to change for people to like you – whether in your dress or make-up. As simple say – keep it natural.

Self-esteem is linked to friendships because if children don’t have a healthy self-esteem then it is possible they will read into situations that are not there. They may see friends whispering and assume they are talking about them, read body language as being negative towards them and take jokes personally.

Love who you are
They need to love who they are and accept that they are unique. They have strengths and weakness and that is okay. We all make mistakes, we all can’t be good at everything but we do need to accept and like ourselves on the inside and the outside.

Everyone has something they are good at
I believe everyone has something great to offer – that might be your creativity, great at sums, ability to look good. When I set up The Kids Coach I knew I was good with children and teenagers and knew that I loved to be creative. When I thought about putting the two ideas together and came up with life coaching for children I got excited and starting feeling very positive about how I could help young people. I have tried out many places and ways of working and it has been a huge learning experience but now I am writing for websites, podcasts, running workshops and working with charities as well as individuals and feel like I have reached the place for me.

Have self-belief
Discovering who you are and having the journey to that place is an adventure and no matter how many obstacles in your way if you have self-belief you will get there. My journey has not always been easy but with persistent, determination, focus and the ability to see set-backs as learning curves I think you can achieve anything.

For more information on me and how I work with children visit www.thekidscoach.org.uk. I am also on twitter – www.twitter.com/thekidscoach - so come follow me around or email me at Naomi@thekidscoach.org.uk if you have a question. Best of all tell me what you think of the concept of Life Coaching for Children and please share some of your self-esteem tips that you use with your children. I would love to hear your thoughts. I hope you enjoyed the post!

comments (125) | posted in Health and Beauty | back to top





Comments

(125)

28/04/2012 | Posted by Miss Hannah Leech
Will be telling my friend!

24/04/2012 | Posted by Miss Layla Mathieson
Will be passing these on to my friend for her children.

18/04/2012 | Posted by Miss Alicja Hajnrych
I wish I had access to Simple cosmetics when I was a teenager in Poland...

11/04/2012 | Posted by Miss Lorna Patrick
such good ideas :)

17/02/2012 | Posted by Mr Josh Devonport
great tips

09/02/2012 | Posted by Mrs sajida begum
Very useful thanx

29/01/2012 | Posted by Miss Maariyah Yusuf
Great tips!

27/01/2012 | Posted by Miss PANTIRU ioana
i'm not a parent yet, but i believe your tips will help me in the future... ^^

03/11/2011 | Posted by Miss Nadia Harris
:-)

01/09/2011 | Posted by Miss ashley mcallister
fab

30/08/2011 | Posted by Miss Hannah Parry
Thank you

28/08/2011 | Posted by Miss Molly Gay
will try these!

21/08/2011 | Posted by Miss Sanchia Rebello
great tips!

19/08/2011 | Posted by Miss Sophie May
I loveee simple!!!

11/08/2011 | Posted by Miss Scarlet-Holly Broker
Good advice here

05/08/2011 | Posted by Miss Sara Nikki
Simples products have helped me alot

23/07/2011 | Posted by Miss Emma Procter
used to have low self esteem coz of bad skin but simple helps alot and nice compliments go a long way!!!!

27/06/2011 | Posted by Mrs Rebecca Marta
Such a responsibility trying to do the right thing for our children

26/06/2011 | Posted by Miss Rhianna Shah
great blog

09/05/2011 | Posted by Miss lucy barker
simple has helped boost my esteem hugely by improving my skin so much! If only they made makeup aswell! LOVE YOU SIMPLE! X

09/05/2011 | Posted by Miss Molly Roberts
dont have any children!!!

06/05/2011 | Posted by Miss Danielle Livingstone
great blog!

02/05/2011 | Posted by Miss Joanna Moch
My partner is very shy and have very low self esteem . Despite him doing very well at work and running marathons he is always putting himself down...ur advice (although directed to mothers) will hopefully help me to lift his body image and self esteem so thanks a lot. Jo (28)

26/04/2011 | Posted by Mrs Sylwia Kolodziej-Flisek
good :)

20/04/2011 | Posted by Miss Penn
great blog!

20/04/2011 | Posted by Lucy
great advice for every mum out there

06/04/2011 | Posted by Miss Kerri Heaney
great post x

03/04/2011 | Posted by Miss Phoebe Leitch
:)

11/03/2011 | Posted by Miss Sam Rawlins
nice story to share, very good blog :)

28/02/2011 | Posted by Miss chloe trott
good advise :)

26/02/2011 | Posted by Mrs rochelle cooper
good post

21/01/2011 | Posted by Miss Maria Arribas
great

22/11/2010 | Posted by Miss zara mahmood
I'm a teenager, and I just want to say I'm glad simple does things like this :) xx

19/11/2010 | Posted by Miss s
Great stuff

03/11/2010 | Posted by Miss Victoria Howkins
really good post, yeah, great advice!

15/10/2010 | Posted by Miss laura
good tips

11/10/2010 | Posted by Mrs Pratibha Gavurla
good advice

08/10/2010 | Posted by Mrs SUE JONES
great tips .tkx

02/10/2010 | Posted by Jenni Seymour
this is excellent advice, thanks )

01/10/2010 | Posted by Mrs LUCY JOHNSON
thanks for advice.

01/10/2010 | Posted by Miss Amy Brown
This is great, when I have children I will take these points into account!

24/09/2010 | Posted by Natalie
great advice

20/09/2010 | Posted by Miss sarah norris
i'll be passing this on to a friend

07/09/2010 | Posted by Miss Sara Nikki
Yeah!!!!

03/09/2010 | Posted by Lili
Agreed! x

03/09/2010 | Posted by Miss Rose Rae
i have no children at the moment but this is good advice :)

01/09/2010 | Posted by Miss annie
Fab post.

01/09/2010 | Posted by Miss annie
Really interesting post.

01/09/2010 | Posted by Miss Deanna Holroyd
it worked when i made the transition between schools

31/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Laura Watters
Very useful!

31/08/2010 | Posted by Miss jordan noble
great advice! lets just see if it works

30/08/2010 | Posted by Miss fiona rushton
intresting! thanks xxxx

30/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Amy Nuttall
good stufff!

29/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Daisy Cragg
It's really good advice and you have an interesting job :)

29/08/2010 | Posted by Miss
INTERESTING!!!

27/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Micosha Soares
love the advice

27/08/2010 | Posted by Miss charlotte Bishop
this is really interesting, i work with children and its always great to learn more about them :)

26/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Jade Shackcloth
An amazing article. This is something all parents could do with reading. Especially if you have a highly sensitive child.

26/08/2010 | Posted by RS
Enjoyed reading this blog, thanks

25/08/2010 | Posted by Miss michelle price
Good advice!

25/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Lucy Gray
interesting choice of work

24/08/2010 | Posted by Miss yim cho
:)

24/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Sam
interesting stuff

23/08/2010 | Posted by Miss B P
thanks

23/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Rachel Brooker
:D

21/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Asmita Rai
useful

21/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Asmita Rai
useful

20/08/2010 | Posted by Miss amy bickersteth
thanks.

19/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Bex Paul
self confidence is key, and simple helps me feel better by giving me clear skin

19/08/2010 | Posted by Miss katie harris
Good advice!!! :D

16/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Ayesha Uddin
very interesting!

16/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Meena Shah
hmmm very useful to know

15/08/2010 | Posted by Miss georgia owen
this is really good advice!!! it shouldreally boost self confidence

15/08/2010 | Posted by elif çagil
nothing yes

15/08/2010 | Posted by elif çagil
thank you very much

14/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Megan Simpson
Very interesting!

13/08/2010 | Posted by Miss jordan noble
this is a lot helpful and ahs opened my eyes to see how many people theyre actually are theyre to help you!

13/08/2010 | Posted by Ms quynh hoang
very very interesting!

13/08/2010 | Posted by francesca matthews
interesting thank you x :)

12/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Holly Dawson
Very interesting
Thanks

12/08/2010 | Posted by Miss charys wilson
wish i had this advice to help me when i was wee!

12/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Rosalind Lockley
very interesting yer

11/08/2010 | Posted by Miss fiona rushton
intereting thank you x x

10/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Alice Barlow
I wish i had this advise when i was a child/teen!

10/08/2010 | Posted by zoe frost
that was helpful and interesting thanks simple :)

10/08/2010 | Posted by Sophie
thats interesting thanks

10/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Sam Berry
It's great that there are so many places that teens can go for advice nowadays, the more resources the better

09/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Helen Winosn
Very interesting. Cheers!

09/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Laura
Very interesting, thanks!

09/08/2010 | Posted by Mrs Elaine Bates
What a fantastic job to have.

09/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Thrifty Mummy
really interesting blog and i want to help my son grow up to be confident and have self belief

08/08/2010 | Posted by Miss
i buy simple products to help with my dauters skin,this makes her confident!

08/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Adele Smith
very interesting yer

08/08/2010 | Posted by Mrs sultana khatoon
that'll help connect to the child and understand them much better

08/08/2010 | Posted by Kat
I'm moving up to secondary school and I feel happy. I am a bit sad about never going back to my old school. My brother will be going to my primary school so I will still visit the old school

08/08/2010 | Posted by Miss L S
Really interesting to read!!

06/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Giggles
Its important having high self esteem as a child - it carries on through to adulthood. Its a great thing you're doing :)

06/08/2010 | Posted by Miss becky dixon
Really interesting to read!

06/08/2010 | Posted by Miss cara willis
I want to be a chil phycologist when im older so i find this stuff realy infomative to look at :)

06/08/2010 | Posted by Mrs lyndsey gilroy
I am a Play Therapist and parent so I am interested in hearing how other professionals and parents support children

05/08/2010 | Posted by Miss kate a
Helpful stuff :)

05/08/2010 | Posted by Ms corinne hounsom
great tips and advice!!!very interesting!

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Gemma Marston
some really good advice & tips, thank you

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Katie Sutherland
What a great thing, wish you'd been around when I was at school!

04/08/2010 | Posted by Mrs jane Griffiths
interesting, thanks

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Maliha Tariq
I don't have any children yet, but I will be passing this on to my pregnant friend x

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Rebecca Clawson
thank you ! :D

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss bijal patel
cool

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss T M
Hmm, really interesting article! Helpful (:

04/08/2010 | Posted by Miss jade rapley
thank you for the tips

03/08/2010 | Posted by Miss olacia swan
i know its a while till my 9 month old will go through this but the article is very helpful and understanding x

03/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Abi Bourne
very interesting, thank you i will remeber this !! :)

03/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Amy Skinner
v interesting

03/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Beth Porter
interesting

03/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Lor
a healthy childhood is so important to the self esteem of an adult

03/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Silvia Sanchez-Blackman
very good blog, thank you :)

02/08/2010 | Posted by Miss Valerie Benson
Children are usually curious relationships, sex and changes they experience during puberty but most times are too embarrassed to talk to their parents and fear they may not appear "cool" if they spoke their friends about it. Although there are helplines which offer advice on these issues, every individual case is different from the next so it's good that they can have a coach to speak to. Well done.

31/07/2010 | Posted by Mrs Catherine Joyce
Thank you for the article, it was really interesting. My children are only just a primary school but I remember how hard it was to move from a tiny school with 45 pupils to a huge secondary school with over 1000 pupils.

30/07/2010 | Posted by Miss Jodie Lianne Smith
thanks, I won't forget this ! x

29/07/2010 | Posted by Miss Natasha Karla Kassell
being a shy person it was quite hard for me to move from primary from secondary, but im now doing my gcse's and i love it!

29/07/2010 | Posted by Miss Emma Hosking
your words seems so thought out and true :) i know what you mean

29/07/2010 | Posted by Miss laura
I totally understand this!

29/07/2010 | Posted by Mrs lorraine arndell
Really interesting post -- will certainly take it on board and remember it throughout my child's growing time :0)
Thanks

28/07/2010 | Posted by Miss SH
The move from primary to secondary school is exciting

28/07/2010 | Posted by SC
Nice blog, thanks for the tips

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